There Aint no Sanity Clause

Labor’s bold play to win ‘pink vote’
Farrah Tomazin
October 23, 2010

LAWS against homophobia will be strengthened and the rights of same same-sex couples to adopt children will be reconsidered if Labor wins next month’s state election.

What are the odds that, after the election, the master of setting up dodgy inquiries and community consultation, Justin Madden will in charge of this process?

In a pitch for the ‘’pink vote’’, Premier John Brumby has also promised to give the gay community a greater say (See again the above mention of Justin Madden.) in shaping government policy, improve the rights of couples to have overseas or interstate marriages recognised in Victoria, and provide more funding to stamp out homophobia in schools.

Advocacy groups yesterday described the policy as the most comprehensive gay reform package Labor has taken to a state election.

But Mr Brumby has stopped short of reversing his long-standing opposition to same-sex marriage, despite pressure from within his party and the fact it is a key issue for many voters, particularly in the inner city where the government is under threat from the Greens.

With just over five weeks before the poll, the government will today move to reassert its social justice credentials with a $2.5 million plan

Suddenly, five weeks before the poll, Brumbles throws $2.5 million at social justice issues. *THINKS* How much did this government pay for Tiger Woods to play in the Oz open? (Oh, only $1.5 million.) *THINKS* How much do Brumbles mob pour into Bernie Ecclestone's deep Grand Prix pockets? (Any advance on $50 million?) That just about says it all.

If the gay community swallows this crock and expects a return for their votes after the election there will be many tears before bedtime.

Oops, shouldn’t have said that. It might be foolishly misconstrued by some unkind folks as racist.

Not that I should have anything against a ‘take the money – some several million dollars later - and run’ Mexican who has gutted the Telstra Alamo shareholders by some 37%,

The new Simpsons ‘I didn’t do it’ amigo.

Australia’s biggest scam comes crashing down
Michael Pascoe
May 12, 2009 – 12:40PM

May 05, 2009 03:05pm

STATE debt will blow out to $16b in four years as the government ramps up spending in a bid to ward off the global financial crisis.

In a massive $42 billion budget spend the government will borrow heavily to fund infrastructure, health and bushfire recovery projects as it works to secure the jobs of thousands of Victorians.

As a result net debt will increase from $2.2 billion this year to $16 billion in 2013.

Guess the master of the bread and racing circuits, Bernie Ecclestone is still a happy little Vegemite, coz he'll still be plied with the money he wants.

"DESPITE global economic calamity and enormous cost-cutting to his famously profligate sport, formula one supremo Bernie Ecclestone will take home a record fee from Victoria for the Australian Grand Prix in a fortnight.

The diminutive Briton runs the glamorous sport with an iron fist. He has done so, from a variety of roles, for decades."

Former federal treasurer Peter Costello has refused to spell out his political intentions, as rumours circulate within the Coalition about “unclean” deals.

“Oh I don’t want to go into those things,” he said.

Paul "The Treasurer we had to have" Keating recently-ish said about 'Dollar Sweetie' Costello, "All tip, no iceberg."

Might we suggest that comment was far too generous, and suggest a more appropriate alternative. "All Paddlepop, no stick."

Our other suggestion is, "Bugger off Tip, few are listening - and even less are interested."

At lest eunuchs did have a marginally functional role in the harem.

Something said by Brendan Nelson of which 'Tip' might (but probably will not) take notice.

"One thing I'll never be is some sort of seat warmer."

Good call Brendan. One of your few good calls - but a rooly good 'un.

"Connex has cancelled at least 17 rail services this afternoon, but will attempt to appease angry commuters this hour by giving away free ice-creams."

Bush to present highest civilian honour to Howard.

In one if his final acts as US President, George Bush will present former Australian prime minister John Howard with America’s highest civilian honour, the Medal of Freedom, for his role as a “staunch ally”.

How piquant is it that John Winston joins (not in the biblical sense, one hastens to add) Doris Day as a fellow Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient.

Doris is well known for her role in the fillum, Annie Oakley 'Annie Getcha AK47' (correction courtesy of acting honorary sub editor, Mr Wigan Gown via comments) in which she sang “You Can’t Get a Man with a Gun”.

“And you can’t get a hug
From a mug with a slug,
Oh you can’t get a man with a gun.”

However, George apparently did - in spades.

Reckon there should be another award, the "Presidential Medal of Freedom - Eventually". David Hicks might be a dandy candidate.

Pensioners stage naked horseback protest.

"A naked protest on horseback from medieval times has been recreated in central Melbourne today to highlight the plight of pensioners."

"Fifty-seven-year-old disability pensioner Marg Lennon was the latter-day Lady Godiva as she rode across the Princes Bridge near Flinder Street Station and Federation Square."

"She wore a body suit and long wig to look like the noblewoman, who is said to have ridden naked through the streets of Coventry in England in protest against taxes imposed by her husband."

DESPITE the hype surrounding its launch — or perhaps because of it — The Costello Memoirs has suffered weak sales in its first five days in the stores.

Readings book stores report that only 100 copies sold at their five Melbourne retail stores last week — mostly at the Malvern store near Mr Costello’s seat of Higgins.

Other Melbourne retailers, having ordered from 50 to 100 copies for each store, also report patchy sales.

Borders chain stores have already slashed the $55 recommended retail price by up to a third and other stores are already offering discounts.

"Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today
Oh how I wish he’d go away."
William Hughes Mearns - 1910

Cowardly, cowardly custard jelly back wutless gonder Pete, at this stage in the political process who (outside of your publishing hearse house) gives a rat's foreskin about anything you say!?

YOU EITHER 'STEP UP' OR GO FARK ORF, YOU PRECIOUS SELF ABSORBED, SELF OPINIONATED WANKER! ('scuse the tautology and the venom, but REALLY he is now well beyond the pale and loitering ... apologies to Jack, the romantic lad Keats.)

Fancy someone making Brendan look good ... and principled!

THE female MP at the centre of the latest Sam Newman foot-in-mouth row has slammed his comments as “stupid and inappropriate”.

Tasmania’s Economic Development and Tourism Minister Paula Wriedt had appeared in a clip on last night’s footy show to promote Tassie’s push for an AFL team.

After watching the young mother of two speak Newman said “it would be worthy of coming on her”.

(If you can be tossed here's a fuller report..)

"Henson avoids charges..."

Henson was out there prosecuting his case, mounting a defence, feverishly avoiding charges?

Perhaps this 'boot on the other foot' headline perhaps might have been a bit more honest and accurate?

"The Australian Federal Police still trying convince anyone silly enough to listen that they are not a pack of headless chooks for hire."

A Liberal backbencher had multiple orgasms on the floor of Federal Parliament tonight.

Victorian MP Jason Wood was supposed to be talking about genetically modified organisms when he ran into trouble.

And just in case anyone missed him talking about “genetically modified orgasms” the first time, he repeated it.

“I support the member for McMillan’s call for the government to conduct an independent broad-ranging scientific investigation into the genetic modification of food and biotechnology to assess not only the health of the crops and the food, but also the potential for contamination, the commercial implications for Australian primary industry, and the benefits and risks associated with genetically modified orgasms, orgasms,” Mr Wood said.

What a silly tosser is young Jason (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.) *Wood* , the (Boom! Boom!) *member* for La Trobe!

Surely what Mrs Malaprop's lovechild really meant to say was "genitally modified orgasms.

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton has threatened to “obliterate” Iran if it launches a nuclear attack on Israel, in an interview broadcast on US television.

“I want the Iranians to know that if I’m the president, we will attack Iran,” Senator Clinton said when asked what she would do as president were Iran to launch a nuclear attack on Israel.

"Senator Clinton is arguing that Senator Obama is an untested presidential election risk."

... and exactly how many presidential elections has the apparently risk-free Hill'o'Beans been tested by?

Via the Hun.

THE election for Lord Mayor is not until November 29, but the jockeying has already begun to draft high-profile candidates – who would you choose?

Would you like to see John So standing again?

Or how does the return of Jeff Kennett strike you? Perhaps Eddie McGuire is just the sort of high-flyer Melbourne needs, or maybe the job is just the right kind of retirement gift for Peter Costello?

How about a celebrity? Come November, you could be voting for actress Rachel Griffiths or footy star James Hird.

Here’s your chance to have a say – vote now!

NICOLE Kidman and Keith Urban are preparing for parenthood by splashing out more than $11 million on two luxury homes in the US before the arrival of their first child in July.

The Oscar-winning actor and her country crooner husband have bought palatial homes in Los Angeles and Tennessee in the past month.

The A-list couple were seen this week in Nashville, where they are believed to be overseeing the redecorating of their new $3.75 million seven-bedroom home, as well as building a dream home on a 15ha property they bought last year outside the country music capital.

Kidman and Urban last month also quietly [quietly!!??] bought a $7.6 million five-bedroom home in the upmarket LA neighbourhood of Brentwood.

Could Dotty Parker have been so prescient as to have had Nicole in mind when she said, "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."? (See photo.)

So our dear John, ex teacher and ex AEU rep, Brumby (like Keating said, “there’s nothing more ‘ex’ than an ex Prime Minister”) won’t sit down and talk with representatives of the worst paid teachers in Australia. However he can find time to have a wee chat with the even wee-er Bernie Ecclestone to work out how Victorians can lose even more money by retaining the Grand Prix on the hideously coiffed Dwarf’s terms.

NATIONALS MP Mark Vaile has broken his silence to vigorously defend his right to take on a private sector consultancy while still in Parliament

It was his intention to “try” to serve out his parliamentary term.

“I can’t forecast what circumstances may or may not come along,” Mr Vaile said.

“I possibly won’t recontest the next election.”

Mr Vaile expected his relationship with Servcorp would continue.

“As far as me being absent from my electorate – I’m a member of the Nationals, not the Liberal Party,” Mr Vaile said. He had informed the Nationals whip, which was all he felt he had to do.